What’s up, yall?
I found the other day in my hard drives footage from the days we were recording my debut album ‚Alchemy‘ and it dawn to me this was a time when i was very critical with myself because i look at this footage now and i am thinking ‚girl, you can sing, i am proud of you, i love you so much‘!
Do you have that, too?
Either way, i am happy to be where i am right now regarding the way i see myself.
But one thing i learned along the way is that often our self-image is affected by things we hear right and left. Not necessarily things told directly to us or about us but also things we hear other people say about other people such as “oh look, she trynna do this or that, how cheap“ or “he gained weight, were does he think he’s going like that?“
Looking back i remember worrying so much about how i was being perceived. Yet i went forward and did my thing. And now, outside those hazy days i can see how this was the best thing i could do for my self – not stop.
I had the time eventually to soothe and heal many hurt parts of me and i saw that what i was doing back in 2019 was actually amazing and if i had stopped it would have been me literally giving up on my dreams.
So if that’s you, if you doubt yourself, if you are in this phase (cause we can all have it), please keep going, there will be a place in time when it will all make sense, you will be at a different place emotionally and you will be able to see more clearly than now. So for now, while in the haze, just don’t stop. Do you, be who you are even if you feel very unsure or self-conscious about who you are right now.
Allow yourself the time to grow, allow the process to run on its own course. We can’t jump stages in our evolution – every phase is needed. So don’t curse your current stage. When you are out of this you will see how integral this stage was and how without it you couldn’t have embarked on other stages that came naturally after this one and resulted eventually in your healing.
Finally maybe it helps if you take it from me: watch this video and tell me if you see any reasons why my 2019 self was so self-critical, tell me, was there anything really wrong in the wrong that i was seeing in me? Personally, i can’t find much from my 2021 perspective. I am only grateful to my 2019 for not stopping, not giving up because today i enjoy the delicious fruits of this effort.
And so will you.
All my love,